Twilight: 100 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen!

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If you're not much of a twilight fan, you probably won't understand most of them... But feel free to read them anyway! :XD:

1. Tell him Bella has decided to marry Jacob
2. Tell him you saw Mike Newton romancing Bella on one of those days he went 'camping'
3. Imagine him naked while following him around
4. Prance around the house singing Madonna's 'Like a virgin' at the top of your lungs every morning, make sure Bella is around to hear
5. Running it by Charlie that Edward has been 'sleeping' with Bella for the past 2 years, at the wedding reception.
6. Smear your blood all over his new car freshener. Blame it on Jacob
7. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he's thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.
8. Tell him Bella wants to elope with Paul
9. For his birthday give him a $100 McDonalds gift card, and get offended when he tells you he doesn't eat food.
10. Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep. Call him a pervert.
11. Take him to Victoria's Secret with Alice.
12. Take him onto The Jeremy Kyle show. Make sure everyone knows he addicted to heroin.
13. Tell him you have Bella as a witness if he denies it.
14. Picture yourself naked and covered in blood. Ask him if he wants you. Call him a liar when he says no.
15. Tell him Bella is pregnant and eloping with Mike Newton.
16. Tell him you were kidding once he murders Mike.
17. Buy him a dog. Name it Jacob.
18. Train the dog to follow him everywhere
19. Tell him Jacob thinks he's a sex god.
20. Tell him Jane thinks he's better than a sex god.
21. Ask him if when its sunny he walks in high trafic areas just for fun.
22. Ask him how he got into bella's floor boards without leaving any evidence.
23. Sell Jacob his car for five dollars.
24. Pretend you don't know where the car went and show him the five dollars saying it was left on his porch.
25. Ask him to dress up as Dracula and fight with Jacob in his wolf form.
26. Invite people over to his house and trash it.
27. Tell Esme and Carlisle it was Edwards idea.
28. Try to sell his bed on ebay
29. If he asks where it's gone ask him why he need a bed anyway
30. Try to sell his Cd's on ebay.
31. If he asks where they went say Jacob stole them.
32. Try to take his pulse and freak out when you can't find one
33. Make a lifelike Bella dummy (with Bella audio) and throw it into a fire.
34. Volunteer him for a blood drive.
35. Give him a divorce atterny card and say, "Just in case."
36. Force him to watch the 40-Year-Old Virgin with you. Send him accusational glares at random throughout the film.
37. Lock his phone after you set Me So Horny by Two Live Crew as the ringtone and then call him over and over and over again in public. (for those of you that don't know the song, there's awful loud moaning sounds while they chant me so horny over and over again.)
38.Get a shock collar with sequins on it and have Emmett put it on Edward. Give Jacob the remote.
39. Every time he walks near you jump in front of the nearest car and scream "Save me Edward!"
40. Challenge him to a breath holding contest and accuse him of cheating.
41. Blindfold him and take him to a tanning salon.
42. Jump out of corners and proceed to beating him with large planks of wood every ten minutes
43. Sit in his room and stare at him for hours.
44. When he demands why you're staring at him tell him that you're not leaving until he falls asleep.
45. When he tells you he can't sleep, threaten that Santa won't come if he stays awake.
46. Paint his Volvo pink and write "I love Jacob" all over it
47. Sing "It's a Small World" over and over in your head and follow him around
48. Give his number to Jessica and tell her, he's interested
49.Ask him about Bella's eighteenth birthday party
50. Just think of the color black when he's around so he thinks he can't read your mind either.
51. Refer to him as "Eddie".
52. Prank call him saying you have kidnapped Bella and will only accept his volvo as ransom.
53. Sing 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves' in your head continually, over and over again, he'll go insane in less then three hours guarenteed
54. Come to school wearing dark robes, red/black contacts, and white makeup. Go up to Edward. Claim to be from the Volturi, and ask him where Bella is.
55. Get Carlisle to have "The Talk" with him.
56. Torch his meadow.
57. Run around the school with flyers that say "Save the Mountain Lion!"
58. Set the banner on Bella's cellphone to I love Jacob.
59. Do the same thing to his.
60. Say, "Oh you and Bella looked so cute at the movies yesterday" and when he says that they never went to the movies say, "Oh, but I'm sure it was Bella, and she was all over that other guy."
61. Tell him Darth Vader is his father
62. Run around the school shouting, 'EDWARD CULLEN IS A VIRGIN'
63. Make Bella president of the La Push Cliff Diving Society
64. Randomly run up with a stake yelling "Die, fiend!"
65. Superglue Bella's window shut.
66. In front of Nessie, say aren't you glad you didn't kill the little brat.
67. Remind him that Jacob and Nessie are eventually going to...well you know.
68. Say, "wow, you lost your virginity at 107 and your daughter is going to lose hers at 7...to the guy who was in love with your wife
69. Every time you take a picture of him, ask him if he'll show up when you print it out.
70. Before you print it out, photoshop it so he doesn't show up in it.Print it out and show it to him.
71. Continually poke him with a pencil muttering quietly about how it's the closest thing to a wooden stake you can get.
72. For his birthday, buy him spray-on tan.
73. Tell him you think it's great that he gave Bella up to Jake. When he asks you what you're talking about, say "uh...I've already said too much." and run away.
74. After Bella dumps him for killing Jacob, tell him it was a misunderstanding, and that Bella and Jacob were never together.
75. Cover his yard with "Beware of Vampire" signs.
76. Make an "I love Jacob" website and say Bella made it.
77. Tell him he didn't steal Bella's virginity, Jacob did.
78. Tell him that Nessie is Jaspers daughter.
79. When you 'discover' he's a vampire, throw holy water on him and shout,"The power of Christ compels you!"
80. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
81. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
82. Tell Tanya Edward has decided to take her back
83. End every argument with "Bite me, Edward."
84. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with "What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?"
85. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to "Like a Virgin" by Madonna.
86. Run around with a lighter threatening to set him on fire if he comes any closer.
87. Ask him to turn you into a vampire, beg and plead when he says no... then threaten Bella's life. When he agrees say I can't wait till Bella hears about this. Once he has bitten you scream in agony and cry asking him how he could do this to a perfect little girl like me?
88. Once you change into a vampire, tell Edward you bit Bella, saying he was right and Bella' blood does smell amazing and you couldn't resist, sorry.
89. Push him into the sun and start to sing Diamonds are a girl's best friend
90. Throw garlic at him while screaming die die die
91. Shove him over the boundary line
92. Stab him with a pencil
93. Stare at him for ages. When he asks what your doing ask him if he's that guy from Harry Potter
94. Drive slow
95. When he tells you him and Bella are gettng married get up and go OMG Bella are you pregnant
96. Buy him and Bella matching Team Jacob t-shirts
97. Put love notes into his locker and sign them Jacob Black
98. Sing at the top of your voice... Bella and Edward sitting in a tree. H-U-N-T-I-N-G!
99. Invite the whole La Push pack to his wedding. When he gets upset cry and say you were only trying to help
100. Read New Moon and talk about it whenever he is around
© 2012 - 2024 LittleMissPhsyco
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Hahaha xD
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